Life does not hang by a thread to suicide bombers; it is tightly strapped onto their waists. More comical is the fact that it is only after they die that they get recognition in several parts.
It is also saddening that they get to enjoy their job just once and then they are fired or blasted to be more precise.
The suicide bomber of the group “AL” chosen to get at least 70 in his score sheet including the Minister presently campaigning in some district was the not so intelligent bloke Jamal Amir ( Any sounding similarity to the name of
persons living, dead or in any jail in Mumbai is purely coincidental. ) He left his base bidding his last goodbye and headed directly to the huge crowd assembled at the grounds for the political campaign. Soon he was one among the crowds rather “The One” among it.
The ground had a special path made for the minister through which he could walk and meet all the people. This was supposedly a devious plan to muster support. Being close would make the people feel close to him even though there was the danger of people hurling out what is there beneath their feet. Our suicide bomber took this path to his advantage, got to the front of it and decided that he would press the button as soon as the Minister arrives near him.
People became restless as the minister was late yet again. Amir asked the fellow next to him (whom we shall call as X for the sake of simplicity),” When is the minister expected to arrive?”
X : Don’t know. Must arrive anytime now.
Amir : Oh. It’s getting late.
X : Are you an ardent fan of his?
Amir : Oh no. Nothing like that. I just have to kill him.
X : Kill him?
Amir : Yes. It is my job.
X : Duty conscious huh??
Happy that he had pulled of a successful joke X laughed in a peculiar way which sounded like continuous grunts from a pig trying to sing in the amplifier. It was apparent this guy was even dumber than our bomber as one, he should have shown some shocking reaction and fell to the ground for standing near death or two, he should have immediately informed the police.
The minister soon came near the suicide bomber waving his hands in the thought of his imminent victory. Our suicide bomber with a cool head pressed the button inside his shirt. Nothing happened. He pressed it several times only to feel a soft press and no consequence. This tense action of not seeing the Minister, deeply affected the Minister. He slowly approached the suicide bomber.
Minister : What is the matter boy?
Amir : It wouldn’t trigger.
Minister : What wouldn’t?
Amir : This Bomb. Do I have to explain it to everyone? I am a suicide bomber and I have to kill you but this bomb hidden under my shirt wouldn’t blast. I pressed the button several times but to no effect.
Minister : A SUICIDE BOMBER? I don’t care who you are but my aim is to please people. I shall clear your problem too soon.
Saying so he tore open our bomber’s shirt. There he saw that the bomber was not pressing the big red button which makes the bomb blast but instead a big black mole on his stomach. Only too happy to help, the minister himself took his index finger with the gold ring and pressed the red button.
(We leave the sounds of the blast, people screaming, ambulance sirens and the usual rumpus after any other bomb blast and go to the next day)
Newspaper reports say that there were 328 killed in the suicide blasts including the minister… But if we had counted the number of brains they would have surely been less than 325. Only we know why.
