An apple's day out

It had been the tradition of great kings to go around their country in disguise and essentially and bluntly know what the lay man thinks of him. It soon faded away when absolute monarchy was replaced by popular democracy and intelligent minds with imbecile ones. Musing on this strange tradition left Mr. Roderick Blimp, the Assistant Director of the Ministry of Public Conflicts and Useful Gossip, from his office. He stuck a little green leaf on his head and painted himself red, thereby thinking to have disguised himself cleverly as an apple which was certainly out of shape. As a matter of fact, he never did look like an apple for apples have something inside them. He headed straight for the markets for he somehow came to know that the markets are usually crowded.

 

The whole market saw him for a second and returned to its own rhythm for it knew the Assistant Director of the Ministry of Public Conflicts and Useful Gossip when it saw one. Entering the market, he saw a bunch of old guys laughing. Presuming that it is due to old age he continued his quest – the quest to know his inner self by asking others. Nearing a big shop, he saw some small boys giggling at him. Saying to himself that childhood is a time to be happy, he went on for some decent looking man. After sometime, he saw some people japing at him. He looked behind only to find a big Mango. But why would they tease a Mango? He quietly went to the bunch and asked, “What do you think of the man who is the assistant to head of Ministry of Public Conflicts and Unusual Gossip the” Silence fell over the group. Suddenly a young man quipped, “How much of his character do you want us to expose?” “Anything and everything is fine.” “Ok then. Here it goes. He is not an Assistant, he is an Ass. He is a nitwit, dumb, pudding head, poor fish, thicko, the only human with 4 brain cells, even the civilizations of Mesopotamia would have known much more that what he knows? But still people say that he is as lovely as an apple” saying this they burst into laughter of certainly high mirth.

 

(Ting) Enlightenment! Now, completely aware of his image in public and also sensing the impending danger, Blimp dashed out of the market only to bump into the Mango which he had already seen. “Can’t you give way for an apple which has just been insulted a bit too much by the public?” Completing the question, he starts staring at Mango’s face. “Pleased to meet you, sir. What brings the Director of the Ministry of Public Conflicts  and Useful Gossip to the market sir?” Mango, with the usual majestic look replied, “The same reason for which you have come here.” “Business is not quite the same sir. I wouldn’t be surprised if the locals rise in mutiny in a few hours.” With a scary look the other replied, “ I fear the same, assistant. Look around you and you will hear sounds of joy everywhere. That is not because of our reign but because of our outfits. Presently, we are as they call, the Laughing Stock of this Market. Let us quit this market and start writing our resignation letters.”

 

“Sir, you are supposed to be yellow. But your face is red sir.”

“It happens when one is insulted too much, Blimp. They have demolished us. We are with level to the road. Red is the least I expected.”

“Hehe. If at all I turned red, it wouldn’t be seen, sir”

“Very funny.”